…-rate company in a dying industry. I recommend consultant-assisted corporate suicide." The Boss then asks, "Will it hurt?" Dogbert responds, "It might sting a little when you announce you're going to be a web-only company."
…"Once a week, I e-mail our pointy-haired boss and ask him a question." Wally says, "I make the question so complicated that it hurts his brain." The Boss says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Wally says, "He'll spend the rest of the week avoiding me so he doesn't need to think about it." Wally says, "Meanwhile he seeks…
"Ask the vendor to take 20% off the price." "Now???" "You already signed the contract. The price is set in stone." "It doesn't hurttoask." "It doesn't?" "So... although we just signed the contract, would you please lower the price 20%?" "HA HA HA!!! Get a time machine, you bumpkin!!!" "Gaaa!!! I feel…
…says to The Boss, "We need to show more corporate responsibility." The Boss replies, "Okay, I'll cut your salary and give the extra money to poor people." Tina says, "I was hoping we could hose the stockholders, not me." The Boss responds, "That would hurt my stock options." He pauses and then asks, "What…
…continues, "You agreed to not take away knowledge or skills you acquired at this job." The employee replies, "That's crazy. How can I stop knowing what I learned?" Catbert enters and says, "Come with me." There is a huge contraption with a suction cup. The employee looks up at it and asks, "Will this hurt?…
…watering a plant. She responds, "Only when you talk." Dilbert asks, "But you care about me, right? When I hurt, you hurt?" Dilbert's mom has put down her plant. She says, "Actually, the electrical impulses in your brain don't fly across the air gap to my brain." She continues, "You could be writhing in agony…
