"I'm concerned that you might be low-balling your goals for the coming year." "For example, this one says you will 'decompose in your chair'." "That sounds easy." "Not really. Half of the time I'm in a different chair."
"I wrote out my goals for the coming year." "I set them higher than I can achieve because our boss said it's good to have stretch goals." "Well, more for us."
"Wally, what are your goals for the coming year?" "My goal is to replace my soul with coffee and become immortal." "I mean something about work." "Oh, I thought you said MY goals."
…your goals this year." "But I can't give you much of a raise because you didn't have the appearance of success." "Um...what?" "I have to justify to management all large raises, and they don't know that you exist." "Who do they think accomplished all of my goals?" "I'll make it up to you next year." push…
…"For example, when you acquire a new company, wait a few years and then spin it off." "When you catch a new spouse, wait a few years and then set it free." Boot! "When you golf, hit that ball into a hole and then take it out." "Your ultimate goal is to look decisive without making any real decisions."…
"I called this meeting so I could tell you the division's goals for next year." That's a good idea because we're all so dumb that we couldn't possible read this in e-mail." "Goal one: improve communication." "I can't; I'm too dumb."
Related Searches: Communication | Dumb
