Dilbert says, "I think my girlfriend is only dating me to get free tech support." Dogbert says, "I'm very surprised you think that." Dilbert says, "Because it's unlikely?" Dogbert says, "Because it shows self-awareness." Dilbert says, "She might grow to love me." Dogbert says, "And... back to normal…
"I need your help to patent my search engine algorithm." "Then I will become a billionaire and have attractive girlfriends." "Hold on...I have an emerging primate...and he's got wings!" Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
…but the interface is designed to ruin your life." "We'll take the cheap one." "I can tell by the way you hold the mouse that you've never had a girlfriend." "Hey!" "I'll send a romantic invitations to all the people on your e-mail address list." "No!!!" "Don't worry - I'll use the text that I found…
"Why can't I find a girlfriend?" "You have two problems: your looks and your personality." "Hmm... Two isn't bad." "I can fix my looks by getting an extreme makeover." "You'll still need to improve your M.T.T.S.F." "What?" "Mean time to story failure: It's a measure of how long you can be…
…in free long-distance calling because that's the kind of guy I am." A man looks into a mirror and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! What are you doing at my girlfriend's house????"
Dilbert and his girlfriend are sitting on the couch. Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I turn off the lights to... um... save energy?" She replies, "I'm green with that." The lights are off. There are only sounds of kissing: "Mmm.. smooch smooch." "Smooch smooch." Dilbert's girlfriend turns on the light…
