Woman says, "Wally, can you attend my meeting Friday?" Wally says, "I'm very busy, but I'll meet you halfway." Woman says, "What does that mean in this context?" Wally says, "They say half of life is just showing up." Woman says, "So? you will be..." Wally says, "Doing the other half."
Tina says, "We're having a baby shower for Kim on Friday." Dilbert says, "I barely know her." Tina says, "She's having triplets. Try to bring an appropriate gift for once." Kim says, "It's a? book on how to lower my carbon footprint?" Dilbert says, "You're killing us all."
Catbert says, "I modified the dress code to require wearing company shirts on casual Fridays." Catbert says, "That should lower our employee's self-esteem until they stop complaining about earning less than the industry average." Dilbert says, "Why do I feel overpaid today?"
"Wally, I need you to attend a meeting on Friday morning." "But that is bagel Friday. It's the only thing that separates us from the animals." "You could get a bagel to go." "It's as if you don't want to understand."
"In order to boost productivity, the company has decided that employees can not use e-mail on Fridays." "What if my highest priorities require e-mail? Should I waste my day doing worthless stuff?" "Geez, somehow you made a great idea seem ridiculous." "Yeah, that's all me."
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "Have you heard about the employee wellness program?" "If you call in sick on a Monday or a Friday, your boss says, 'Well, well, well- that's very suspicious.'" "Now if you'll excuse me, I feel a nap coming on."
