Mordac, the Preventer of Information Services Tina says, "My software is so old that I can't open any files that people send me." Mordac says, "I can't upgrade your computer because then it will be non-standard." Tina says, "And by non-standard, you mean useful?" Mordac says, "Be gone, wordsmith!"
…says, "Okay." Dogbert says, "Now hold while I snoop into your personal files, pilfer your bank accounts and turn your computer into a spam server." The man says, "THAT'S ILLEGAL!" Dogbert says, "So are 75% of your personal files, but you don't see me getting all huffy."
…computer. This is a good time to get a new one." "How do I get a new computer?" Wally says, "It's easy. I'll send you a file that explains it." Dilbert says, "Are you sending corrupted files to people again?" Wally says, "Only if I think they deserve it."
"Wally, I've documented all of your disciplinary issues in your personnel file." "You have violations for every letter of the alphabet except Z. For some reason you missed that one." Zzzzzz
Dogbert writes a F.A.Q. for the company web site "Question 8: Why won't my file open when I'm eating toast?" "Answer 8: That is the stupidest question ever! Do not have children!" "I sure hope someone asks that question."
"My accomplishment this month was opening a file that someone e-mailed." "That took an entire month?" "It wasn't that easy. I didn't have the right software to open the file." "I tried to download the viewer from the Internet but the Web site didn't support my browser." "And I couldn't upgrade my browser…
