Coworker says, "Gaaa!!! The second-uncoolest person in the world has my same facialhair!" Coworker says, "And the uncoolest person in the world is clean-shaven. You're leaving me no place to go!" Later that month. Alice says, "I don't see it catching on." Coworker says, "Give it time."
Wally says, "Does my new goatee make me look manly and intellectual at the same time?" Dilbert says, "It makes you look too lazy to shave around your lips." Dilbert says, "And I think I saw a flea." Wally says, "Yeah. That one is resistant to soup."
"What's wrong with your face?" "It's a goatee." "I hate goatees, so I am using my powers of extreme uncoolness to make them go away." "That could work." "GAAA!!!"
"Then I said..." "He is totally violating my personal space with his non-standard facialhair." "HA! HA! HA! HA!" "Gaaa!!! His warm, moist breath is all over me!" "Please stop touching my brain with your nose."
"Trade Show Registration" "Men without facialhair are not allowed on the exhibition floor." "We have rental beards for your convenience." "That model comes with pipe-scented suspenders. It's very popular with our portly attendees."
"I'm going to the big technology show." "What do you do there?" "I will wade through a vast sea of mostly curly-haired guys with facialhair and glasses. And I will look at thousands of indistinct products." "It's like salmon returning to its birthplace." "But without the spawning opportunities."
