Boss says, "Old Johannsen has kept his job all of these years because no one else has his critical knowledge." Johannsen says, "Pss pss pss pss psss" The Boss says, "There's the worst-case scenario right there."
Dilbert thinks, "In the land of cubicles, the man with two monitors is king." Dilbert thinks, "I pity my uni-monitored subjects, but I cannot respect them." Meanwhile, in another corner of the kingdom? Alice thinks, "The king is dead. Long live the queen."
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Ken says, "Every time I get near my sales bonus level, the pointy-haired boss raises the target!" Catbert says, "Ha ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He just yanks it away! Ha ha ha!" Ken says, "I was hoping for some support." Catbert says,…
Dilbert says, "My company wants to turn my invention into a death ray. How can I stop them from succeeding?" Garbage man says, "There is one natural force that can stop any form of success. It goes by the name..." Dilbert says, "Wally?" Wally says, "How may I be of disservice?"
Mordac the Preventer of Information Services Mordac says, "It's time for your operating system upgrade." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!" Dilbert says, "Please don't! My CMS software won't work with the new operating system. I'll be a technology have-not!" The Boss says, "It's never good when they wear…
Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb..." Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously…
