Dilbert says, "If we migrate our enterprise applications to the web, and outsource our sales and product development..." Dilbert says, "The entire company can be managed by one monkey." Dilbert says, "Plus a second monkey to look at the PowerPoint slides from the first monkey."
The Boss says, "Let's schedule a scenario-based roundtable discussion about our enterprise project management." The Boss says, "We'll use our infrastructure survey tool to architect a risk-based tiering system." Dilbert says, "That almost meant something." Wally says, "I'm tempted to stop acting randomly…
…project Caribbean." "Caribou is like project muskrat but with lower P.R.O.R.C." "P.R.O.R.C?" "Projected return on research capital." "Is muskrat the enterprise software project?" "Um... No... That would be project muskrat." "Cancel project musk ox, move the staff over to project zebra, delay panda and squirrel…
"Our enterprise software comes in two flavors." "The premium package boasts a friendly user-interface." "The economy option does the same stuff but the interface is designed to ruin your life." "We'll take the cheap one." "I can tell by the way you hold the mouse that you've never had a girlfriend.…
…, "I hear he's young." The new CEO, a baby, enters the room and says, "Hello." The new CEO says to Alice and Dilbert, "We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing e-commerce platform." The CEO then says, "Now if you'll excuse me, nature calls." The CEO stays seated and sighs…
…internal e-mail message?" and hands Dilbert the piece of paper. Dilbert reads, "It says we'll "use integration tools to leverage the utility of our enterprise-wide processes." Dilbert say, "It appears to be something we call communication." The lawyer points his finger and says, "Perjury!"
