…classes." "I could learn the process for approving classes, but I'd still need approval for a budget variance to take the class." "And I can't get that because the online budget approval system is broken." "I can't even have this conversation because it will make me charge too much of my engineering…
Career Day "Class, today Dilbert will tell us what a career in engineering is all about." "My job involves explaining things to idiots." Then the idiots make decisions based on misinterpreting what I said." "Then it is my job to try and fix the massive problems caused by the bad decisions." "Eventually…
…circuit and wrote in 'Moby Dick by Charles Dickens.'" The Boss says, "Exactly! I'll bet you didn't learn THAT in your engineeringclasses." The Boss walks away and thinks, "Poor engineers; there world is so small."
The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I want you to benchmark these world-class companies. Find out how we compare." Alice responds, "I'm betting they don't make verbs out of nouns. And I'll bet they don't assign engineers to do field research." Alice talks on the phone in her office. She asks, "Do you guys…
…promised the customer things that engineering can't possibly deliver. Do you know what this means?!" Stan replies, "It means I'm a great salesman and you're a putrid engineer." Stan continues, "Maybe you should consider taking classes at night." Dilbert thinks, "Karate classes."
Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea…
