Coworker says, "I have to disagree with you, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "Actually, you don't disagree with me." Coworker says, "I don't?" Dilbert says, "No. You think you disagree with me, but you're mistaken." Dilbert says, "You're simply experiencing an illusion caused by the limits of your…
…consultant to help us evolve our products to cloud computing." Dogbert says, "Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud." The Boss says, "It's as if you're a technologist and a philosopher all in one!" Dogbert says, "blah blah platform."
Dogbert says, "I made a list of demands for your New Year's resolutions." Dilbert says, "Thou shalt not fill up the DVR with geeky science shows. ?Thou shalt not snore like an asthmatic cow?" Dilbert says, "I didn't know other people could impose resolutions on me." Dogbert says, "It's a new thing.…
Dogbert says, "I can lower your corporate taxes by using a strategy that tax attorneys call the 'Dutch sandwich.' And I'm not even making that up." The Boss says, "So? that would transfer our tax burden to people who can't afford tax attorneys." Dogbert says, "Yeah... their sandwich has a less appealing…
Dilbert says, "I feel like a failure. Say something to cheer me up?" Dogbert says, "Happiness comes from comparing yourself to a reference group that is relatively worse off." Dogbert says, "You're a successful member of the reference group." Dilbert says, "And that's not nothing!"
…says, "Are you ready to do mental gifting?" Dogbert says, "You go first." Dilbert says, "I imagine giving you a sweater that doesn't fit." Dogbert says, "I imagine giving you a tool that you already have." Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Stupid sweater."
