The Boss says, "After eight months, senior management finally approved your project plan." Dilbert says, "It's too late. All of the technology has changed and our competitors have leapfrogged us." The Boss says, "Maybe you could write a new plan." Dilbert says, "Or we could get the same result by…
…testing are in." Dilbert says, "Our user interface triggered wide-spread despondency and self-mutilation." Dilbert says, "Obviously we'll need to delay our launch for the public good." The boss says, "When did you become a communist?"
Satan's Vendor "Ha ha ha! Now that you've implemented our product, you are at our mercy." "We shall raise the price of upgrades and delay promised patches. There is nothing you can do about it. Nothing!" "Wow. You're fast with those scissors." "I scrap."
"Why is your project months behind?" "I still don't have the user's requirements because she's a complete nut job." "It's your job to manage that process!" "I complained to her boss, who promptly misinterpreted the problem and ordered her to work on the wrong stuff." "Then every member of her…
…muskrat the enterprise software project?" "Um... No... That would be project muskrat." "Cancel project musk ox, move the staff over to project zebra, delay panda and squirrel and give me a status report on proboscis monkey." "We don't have any projects with those names." "How's that my fault?"
"Bottleneck Bill" "Perhaps you're wondering why I haven't answered your e-mails." "My philosophy is that anything worth doing is worth delaying." "Plus you look like that." "Like what?"
