Dilbert says, "This is a magic button." Dilbert says, "Any time you ask for costestimates, I push the button and it guides me." Button says, "Pull the numbers out of your..." Dilbert says, "It only says the one thing."
Coworker says, "Can I get a rough costestimate for the design phase?" Dilbert says, "No. I don't trust you with numbers." Coworker says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You're the kind of guy who will remove useful qualifiers and distribute a figure as if it is true in all cases." Dilbert says, "Decisions will…
Job tension is running high Asok says, "I...I...forgot to total the costestimates." Asok says, "Gaaaa!!!! You're going to fire me! I'm the next casualty of the frail economy!!!" The boss says, "Maybe we could finish this by e-mail." Asok says, "Must improve street-mime skills!!!"
A man says, "Alice, when will I get your cost estimates?" Alice says, "When will your one eyebrow turn into two?" The man says, "Is that the ghost of the guy who used to have your job? He makes you look bad because he was always helpful." Alice says, "If you're so helpful, tell me how to kill you."…
…Wally says, "I have no stress, free coffee, and I get paid, too." Wally says, "Watch how this works." Ted says, "Wally, can you give me some costestimates for my project?" Wally says, "I'm too busy. Ask Dilbert." Asok says, "Doesn't this make you a worthless leech on society?" Wally says, "I'm pretty…
Boss says "Wally, do you have the capital costestimates I asked for last week?" Wally says "No, I always ask you to clarify what you need. You say you'll get back to me but you never do." Boss says "Maybe I could clarify it now." Wally says "That would ruin my system."
