The Boss says, "How much confidence do you have in your cost projections?" Dilbert says, "I trust them like I trust you." The Boss says, "Are the assumptions realistic?" Dilbert says, "They're as real as your good judgment."
…deadline for our response is tomorrow." Dilbert says, "If I ask for clarity, we'll miss the the deadline. If I don't, our bid will either be below our cost or too high to win." Dilbert continues, "Which path of certain failure do you prefer?" The Boss states, "I like the one that makes you work the hardest…
…trust of our customers? Let's brainstorm." Dilbert says, "We could stop using misleading benchmark tests to sell shoddy products that have hidden costs." The Boss says, "I heard someone say 'lie.' Let's write that one down."
Alice says, "Dilbert, meet my new boyfriend, angry Jack." Alice says, "People say my high level of engineering skill comes at the cost of good social judgment." Dilbert says, "Alice, his name is Angry Jack." Alice says, "I think he wants to hold my hand now."
Dilbert says, "This is a magic button." Dilbert says, "Any time you ask for cost estimates, I push the button and it guides me." Button says, "Pull the numbers out of your..." Dilbert says, "It only says the one thing."
Coworker says, "Can I get a rough cost estimate for the design phase?" Dilbert says, "No. I don't trust you with numbers." Coworker says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You're the kind of guy who will remove useful qualifiers and distribute a figure as if it is true in all cases." Dilbert says, "Decisions will…
