…Boss says, "Well? I fired that guy this morning. His last day is tomorrow." Boss says, "That one retires at the end of the month. Those three are contractors. I didn't renew their contracts. The rest of them believe that motivation is how the powerful steal from the dumb." The CEO says, "Tell them I hate…
Dilbert says, "You're paying contractors to do work that I could do if I weren't always in unproductive meetings." Dilbert says, "You could hire temps to attend the unproductive meetings for me, and fire the more expensive contractors." Dilbert says, "Why don't I understand what you just said?" Dilbert…
The Contractor "My dream is to one day become a regular employee." "My dream is to eat candy and poop emeralds." "The difference is that I'm halfway successful."
The Contractor "No pressure, but do you have any idea how easy it would be to get rid of you?" "There isn't even any paperwork. I just point my finger and you're history." "Here comes the firing finger. Oooh...Watch out!"
"Everyone gets a company shirt! It's good for morale." "Oops! Not for the temps." "None for the contractors." "Not for vendors." "Nothing in your size." "Not for people who might get downsized on Friday." "I'll use the leftovers as garage rags." "Did the shirts improve morale?" "Sure I did! I feel great…
Dilbert points to a slide of the beaver and says, "The project is behind schedule because our contractor is a lazy beaver." Dilbert says to The Boss, "For a while he was making up excuses. Now, he doesn't return calls." The Boss replies, "What's your plan?" Dilbert says, "I hope to get him back to making…
