"It was theoretically impossible to work this week." "Everything I needed to do required me to do something else first, until it all looped back on itself like a Mobius strip." "Maybe you could make a to-do list." "As if I had a pencil."
Dogbert the security consultant "If you see someone without an ID badge..." "...Strip search him, confiscate his wallet, and lock him in the janitor's closet until he starves!" "That seems a bit extreme." "You're about one minute away from living on mop water."
"I heard that you started a comicstrip on the side." "You're in my seat, fly bait. Move or I'll pound your head so hard you'll have to remove your pants to read." "Did I miss anything about teamwork?" "Where do you get your ideas?"
"The employee of the month is Tina, for all of the um...various work that she does." "You have stripped this award of its meaning by showing that you don't even know what my job is." "It's as if you've never listened to anything I've ever said." "You're welcome!"