Dilbert says, "I collected optimistic data, put it in the context of bad analogies, seasoned it with saliency bias…" Dilbert says, "…Added herd instinct, a pinch of confirmation bias… and here's your strategy." Dilbert says, "Just add leadership." The Boss says, "Why do I always get the hard part?…
…Dogbert Investment Bank can help you pretend to unlock shareholder value." Dogbert says, "I'll arrange an unwise merger so you can cash out while I collect an obscene commission." Dogbert says, "It's like a bribe, but instead of going to jail, a stranger will write a bestselling book with your name on…
Man says, "I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present." Dilbert says, "You're Scott." Man says, "So? Is there some sort of rule against collecting money for your own birthday?" Dilbert says, "Well...no." Man says, "I'm buying myself some paper towels and cereal." Dilbert says, "Stop making it…
Asok says, "I'm collecting money for our pointy-haired boss' birthday." Punch! The boss says, "How much did we get so far?" Asok says, "Well, nothing you could send by FedEx."
…"There's an opening in my old department is it okay if I apply?" Collections supervisor says, "Sure. I'd be happy to toss that dead cat In someone else's backyard." Dilbert says, "I was worried that I might be too valuable..." Collections supervisor says, "Why are you still here?"
