…this by our attorney." "May I vigorously hit myself with a hammer instead?" "You have my attention." "Either way, it's a painful process that won't change the final result." "But the hammer is quicker and it will still make you feel as if you made me do something." "Okay. Try the hammer thing." BAM!…
"E-mail me with your comments on the design." "Can't I just tell you my comments now?" "I need it in writing because you're a huge liar and you'll change your story later." "And I might punch you for not shaving the back of your neck." "Well then, e-mail it is."
"Why did you add this button to the user interface?" "You told me to." "Why would I tell you that?" "You always suggest random changes to create the illusion of adding value." "Well, remove that button." "It's only on your copy."
…Theoretically..." "No... Dear Lord, no." "If I later give you a changerequest to add one feature, could you do it for the same budget." "One? Sure." "Data goes in; management comes out." "One? Sure." "Changes are free." "Where do I put the change requests?"
…obsolete and the users' requirements have changed." "Any suggestions?" "Let's stubbornly plod along and deliver the useless product that was originally requested." "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" "We should restart every time something changes. That way we'll never be held accountable for…
