The Boss says, "After eight months, senior management finally approved your project plan." Dilbert says, "It's too late. All of the technology has changed and our competitors have leapfrogged us." The Boss says, "Maybe you could write a new plan." Dilbert says, "Or we could get the same result by resubmitting…
Dogbert the CEO Man says, "Consumer confidence is up, and that means more people will buy our products." Dogbert says, "I'm off to make random managementchanges so I can take credit for the improved economy." Dilbert says, "It's working?" The Boss says, "Sales are up!"
Boss says "Did you make the changes I asked for?" Dilbert says "That depends." Dilbert says "Do you remember what you asked me to change?" Boss says "No." Dilbert says "Yup, I made the changes."
"Here's your assignment. Do it! Do it! Do it, you idiot!" "What kind of management is that?" "That's called tough love." "Tough love only makes sense if I am doing something wrong and refuse to change." "Well, sometimes more is less." "The saying it 'less is more,' not 'more is less.'" "If less equals…
"GAAA!!! I'm changing!!!" "Suddenly I see you not as a quirky coworker, but as a colossal waste of resources!" "Do you think you matter? No, you do not. I matter." "I invented this table!" "I'd better call someone." "It's an emergency. Send the executive recruiter." "What's your status?!!" "Is it leadership…
"The project was moving along well until managementchanged our coding language and methodology." "Now our timeline is represented by this M.C. Escher print of an endless stairway." "This deep-sea submarine is looking for our morale." "Would this be a bad time to add a few features?"
