"Did you get all of the department heads to sign off on our business plan?" "No, they prefer to see us fail so they look good in comparison and there's more money in the budget for them." "How can we speed up this process?" "I'm failing as fast as I can."
"Our new philosophy is 'a bias for action'." "Are we eliminating our Six-Sigma program, the budget cycle, ISO certification, and our approval processes?" "Can I get back to you on that?" "Sure. No rush."
"It's been a great three-hour meeting but I have one question." "Can a business-led project management process optimize our strategic core issues?" "Was that gibberish?" "I thought that's what we were doing."
Headline: Marketing Genius. A business associate says to The Boss and Wally, "We designed a rebate program that won't cost a penny." The business associate continues, "The rebate process is an impenetrable fortress of unclear instructions and physical impossibilities. An elderly couple sits at a table…
…says, "Did you call me here to punish me?" The boss is sitting behind his desk. The boss says, "No, no, Asok. I want you to manage our annual business plan process." Asok says, "How so I do that?" The boss says, "First, you beg your co-workers for information about their budget needs." With a close-up on…
…says, "This our new CEO. He has a reputation as a turnaround expert." Asok says, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you favor TQM or more of a businessprocess approach?" The new guy replies, "I'm partial to the value-based management method." Asok says, "I'm not familiar with that one."
Related Searches: Process | Project Management
Related Searches: Rebate
