Dogbert is sitting at a conference table and says, "You're a third-rate company in a dying industry. I recommend consultant-assisted corporate suicide." The Boss then asks, "Will it hurt?" Dogbert responds, "It might sting a little when you announce you're going to be a web-only company."
The Boss says, "We're in merger talks, but it's business as usual until it goes through." Wally says, "I'm free! My efforts won't influence my rewards!" The Boss says, "I said business as usual." Wally says, "I was totally planning to do this today."
the Boss says, "Asok, I'm putting you in charge of pandemic contingency planning." The Boss says, "Calculate the impact on our business if 50% of our employees are unable to be productive." Asok says, "That's twice as good as we're doing now." The Boss says, "Just make some slides that say it would be…
…says, "I already feel an improvement in my quality of life." Wally says, "Where's idiot boy now?" Dilbert says, "In the parking lot. No need to look busy yet."
The Boss says, "I found a less expensive delivery service for our oversees business packages." The boss says, "Find someone who is traveling to the same country as the package, shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, and hide the package under his hat." Carol thinks, "The first day of any new system is…
…and authorize huge ransom payments to myself for their return." The boss says, "Then you'll return them safely?" Dogbert says, "That's a different business model."
