Man says, "I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present." Dilbert says, "You're Scott." Man says, "So? Is there some sort of rule against collecting money for your own birthday?" Dilbert says, "Well...no." Man says, "I'm buying myself some paper towels and cereal." Dilbert says, "Stop making it…
Asok says, "I'm collecting money for our pointy-haired boss' birthday." Punch! The boss says, "How much did we get so far?" Asok says, "Well, nothing you could send by FedEx."
Alice says, "Today is Shelly's birthday. We should make her feel special." Alice says, "Do you still have that random stack of birthday cards you got on sale last year?" Dilbert says, "I'm all over it." Alice says, "She likes pets. The closest thing you have is an elf." Dilbert says, "Draw whiskers…
Dilbert says "My project is on hold. Do you need any help on yours?" Alice says "Sure. Call these customers and tell them we can't deliver on time or with the features they need." Dilbert says "Do you have any tasks that don't feel like getting waterboarded on your birthday?" Alice says "And tell…
