Coworker says, "Gaaa!!! The second-uncoolest person in the world has my same facial hair!" Coworker says, "And the uncoolest person in the world is clean-shaven. You're leaving me no place to go!" Later that month. Alice says, "I don't see it catching on." Coworker says, "Give it time."
The Boss says, "I asked Wolfgang to join us." The Boss says, "He's a software genius, if not a legend." The Boss says, "He knows more than all of you put together." The Boss says, "Plus his name is Wolfgang." The Boss says, "Some say his talent is a genetic mutation. Others say that god speaks to…
…direction." The Boss says, "We think he's a genius because he has a beard and he never speaks." The Boss says, "Gary, do you think we should use open source software for our support platform?" The Boss says, "Here it comes. He's rubbing his beard and giving me creepy eye contact." The Boss says, "I detect a…
…our emergency preparedness binder." Ted says, "But....I haven't done anything wrong!" The Boss says, "I might have said some things about your new beard."
"Then I said..." "He is totally violating my personal space with his non-standard facial hair." "HA! HA! HA! HA!" "Gaaa!!! His warm, moist breath is all over me!" "Please stop touching my brain with your nose."
Topper vs. a Customer "I competed in the Iditarod, an 1,150-mile dogsled race lasting 15 days, over the world's toughest terrain." "That's nothing. I completed the race while pretending to be one of your dogs." "Now I don't want to buy from your company." "That's nothing. Now I plan to burn my…
