The boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to audit the software we have on our systems." Dilbert says, "Why?" The boss says, "So we know what we have." Dilbert says, "Who will use the information?" The boss says, "It's just important to have." Dilbert says, "It will be out of date before I'm even done." The…
Income Tax Auditor Man says, "You claim your company is exempt from taxes because you're incorporated in...heaven?" Dogbert says, "Exactly." Man says, "I'm not allowed to question that claim because of the separation between church and state." Wally says, "I am the angel Wally!" Dogbert says, "Hold…
Dogbert the CEO Man says, "I'm here to do a tax audit of your company." Dogbert says, "How's that work?" Man says, "I look for reasons to transfer money from small, disreputable entities to a larger one." Man says, "I call my salary vigorish, but it's not as ironic as it once was."
"The security audit accidentally locked all of the developers out of the system." "Well. It is what it is." "How does that help?" "You don't know what you don't know." "Congratulations. You're the first human to fail the turing test." "What does that mean?" "Um..." "It is what it is?" "Why didn't you…
"I completed the audit of your new $150 million software system." "I recommend that you scrap the entire thing." "What?!! How could the entire thing be worthless?" "Well, your normal software system would be a clever combination of ones and zeros." "Yours is all ones." "There must be some way to tweak…
…, "Hi. I'm the new sadist." Dilbert replies, "What happened to the old one?" The sadist answers, "He went to sadist paradise." Dilbert ask, "The auditing department?"
