…"Your request for airline travel is denied. We don't have the budget for that." Finance troll says, "Company policy requires you to hitchhike with alleged killers and not offer to pay for gas." Dilbert says, "Well, at least things can't get worse." finance troll says, "Apparently you don't know what 'Alleged'…
Catbert: Evil director of human resources "I'd like to change my job title to something 'architect' in it." "My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable." "The best I can do is 'code monkey.'" "How about 'software simian'?"
…to make me quit." "At this company we don't get all anal about the difference between false rumors and actual facts." "That's not fair!" "Said the alleged poacher of endangered species."
"Wally, it's ten o'clock. You're supposed to start at eight." "That's because I plan to work for two unverifiable hours after you leave tonight." "My alleged loyalty to this company is second to none."
"I can no longer work with you because of what you said to someone about me." "What did I allegedly say to whom?" "I can't tell you without violating the insane chick code of ethics."
…that lake!" "That's nothing." "I once caught a dinosaur by using nothing but dental floss and a pull tab from a beer can." "I'd like to see this alleged dinosaur." "Too late. I also make the world's best barbecue sauce."
