…Catbert says to the other HR director, "Let's see... My company offers six months of maternity leave for mothers." The other HR director replies, "We treat 'em like smokers. They have to squat in the parking lot for 10 minutes then go back to work." Catbert says, "That's very evil.. We'll adopt your…
…cubicle." The new guy is sitting at his desk. The Boss continues: "In six weeks our I.T. people will connect you to the network so you can do your job." The Boss says to the new guy, who looks stunned: "I'll stop by every few minutes to see what you are doing."
Catbert is sitting in his chair while Dilbert takes notes. Catbert says, "Give the employees sixminutes of bathroom breaks per shift." Dilbert is now taking notes from the boss who says, "Tiny cubicles... and we'll monitor calls and have incompatible objectives, such as speed and customer service."…
…Wally, Dilbert and Alice are in a meeting. The Boss says, "Anyone who takes more than thirty minutes for lunch is unprofessional." Wally says, "That's still too long! I say your unprofessional after sixminutes!" The boss says, "That's a little too professional, Wally." Wally says, "Death to those who…
…there's an executive retreat..." Alice continues while the Boss appears to listen, "It takes three weeks to get on your calendar... and the project has six phases..." Alice says, "What we have here is guaranteed failure." Alice says, "You've left nothing to chance on this one." Alice says, "I mean, normally…
…reasoning that anything I don't understand is easy to do." "Phase one: Design a client-server architecture for our world-wide operations. Time: Sixminutes."
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