…company needs goals." GOALS "We have division goals, department goals, district goals, personal goals and affiliate goals." "You will all attend a four-hour training session on how to write goals." "Every week you will report on how you are doing compared to your goals." "Those reports will be entered…
"This was a productive fourhour leadership meeting." "I'd like one of you to type up your notes and send an e-mail to the entire company." "No one took notes?" "I didn't have a pen." "Okay, no problem. Does anyone remember what we decided?" "We agreed to increase something." "No, decrease something…
The sadist approaches Dilbert handing him a piece of paper and says, "You're invited to my four-hourmeeting." As Dilbert reads the paper, the sadist says "There's no agenda. It's just supposed to hurt. Dilbert asks, "Any donuts?" The sadist replies, "Yes, but I'll drop one on the floor and hide it with…
…as hard, or the competition will crush us!" Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in front of the Boss as he continues, "I want you to feel afraid twenty-fourhours a day." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: wouldn't hat lower the quality of our lives?" Wally says, "Seems like it might." Wally continues…
…look at our year-to-date variance in depreciation." Alice notices a sleeping co-worker on one side and thinks, "Only five minutes left of our fourhourmeeting." There is another sleeping co-worker on her other side. Alice thinks, "If he keeps droning, there won't be any time for my presentation." Alice…
During a staff meeting, Dogbert stands on the table holding his gun and says, "FREEZE!!" Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and says, "You scheduled a four-hourmeeting to find out why people are behind schedule!" The guy says, "No, look at the agenda! The fourth hour is about why morale is so low. A…
